Sneaking a Snuggle

Every night at Sloan's bed time, I nurse her and she usually falls asleep in my arms. This time has become my most favorite time of the day. I look forward to stealing a moment of time with her. I lay back and hold her on my chest and just stare at her. I try to study everything about her, her smell, her little dimpled chin, her perfect button nose, the way the light makes her hair look different colors, her little baby breaths...everything. I think about how much I love her and how happy she makes me. I let my mind wander to what I think she will be like as she grows up and I think about all the hopes and dreams I have for her. These moments give me a glimpse into what I think Heaven will be like. I picture all my children gathered round with their heads on my lap as I play with their hair and tickle their backs. We talk about our life's adventures and how silly were were in thinking that everything else was so important when really the important things were right in front of us all along. I lay on the bed and soak in the moment because I know that tomorrow it will be a little different. She will be a little older, a little less cuddly, a little more independent. Every night I hold her longer and longer because I want it to last forever. I try and file these moments in my memory because I know I will need to remember them when Sloan is 3 and throwing a tantrum in the grocery store, or when she is 10 and wants to hang out with her friends instead of her family, or when she is 19 and dating a guy I am not exactly thrilled about. So each night I sneak my snuggle and take it all in because I know it is a fleeting moment that I won't be able to get back. It is the little things in life you need to hold on to. It isn't about money or fame or career success, it is about moments like this. These are the things you can hold on to and the moments you will look back on with fondness. So I plan to sneak my snuggles for as long as I can because I realize how blessed and lucky I am to be able to have them!